Defeated or Deflated?

As all the marriage books out there mention, finances are often the biggest struggle in any marriage. Alisha and I are no different. We moved out to Colorado in hopes that I would get this job with JeffCo, but that day didn't arrive until about 7 months after moving. We lived off our savings and my meager earnings bartending at Red Robin, but needless to say, we hardly scraped by.

Life is expensive. I am just beginning to see what life actually costs, and trying to understand the difference between needs and wants. Alisha is attending Denver Seminary and it is anything but cheap. This summer she will be heading to Israel for a class and it is more money out of our pocket. However, there is nothing that I wouldn't do to help support her on this once in a lifetime trip to walk in the same footsteps of Jesus around the countryside. Even though the trip isn't until mid-may, all the expenses are accruing now.

My new pay checks are wonderfully larger than anything I have experienced, yet we still seem to only be living from check to check because of such large upfront costs with her schooling, and with my academy.

I'm slowly learning the difference between being defeated and being deflated. I often feel like I am defeated now with my new job's wages, because how fast the money drifts away. Before this job, we had no money to save, in fact we spent more than I earned. And now with this job, it feels the same way, like we can't win.

Back in my single days, most of my money went to hobbies like ammuntion and outdoor gear, but now, I don't have a dime to spend on ammo. I've bought my new duty weapon, but haven't fired it once. (For those of you who know me, I think you can understand my "plight.") But I am beginning to learn that I am not defeated, but rather God may be deflating my ego, pride, and mindset to the things I think I deserve. I don't need to go shoot my gun, even though I want to. I don't need the next toy or gadget, even though mine may be outdated. There are just somethings that I need to redirect my focus on, and right now, that thing is money. It is hard trying to set my priorities around areas I don't enjoy, like insurance, bills, repair, and the like. But this is life right? Maybe through this endeavor, God is building in me patience, endurance, and character.

Distractions....Good for Me?

We are into our third week in the academy, and some familiar patterns are beginning to develop. The most prominant one is, when you think you have spare or extra time, you don't. If ever a class ends prematurely, our Academy Instructor, Deputy Johnson, always has "fun" creative ways to fill the time. Whether it be PT, longer sessions of PT, formations, sound offs, or anything he deems we need some practice on, he is never short of ideas. Today was a pleasant surprize.

We had our afternoon class scheduled with Chief District Attorney Randall, but due to some unforseen mishaps, he sent in a colleague to go over his material. She was entertaining and fun, but certainly couldn't use the entire 4 hours she was allotted. So, when she finished an hour and 10 minutes early, we were all regretting to hear what Deputy Johnson had in store for us. Much to our surprize and liking, he came in, gave some announcements, and sent us home early with no PT.

I deemed I should work on PT outside of class to help improve my results in class. Tonight I did something I didn't think possible. I completed a 5 mile run. The key to my success - distracting myself with cadences. Left, Left, Left, a Righty Left, Right, and One, Two Three, Four, and cadences about my granny doing PT better than me. Singing out loud not only drew attention to passing cars with their windows down, but allowed me to breathe more and thus not focusing on the fact that I was running; a task I thoroughly despise.

I have a feeling tomorrow I'll wake up extremely sore and regret my accomplishment of today during the PT of tomorrow; but for now, I feel victorious.

More Pain than Gain

I am absolutely loving the PT we are having in the academy. Not only is it good for us physically, it is great for us as a team. We go on runs, yell out cadences, jog in formation, and just bond with each other. There are those of us who are in terrible shape, and those of us in marvelous shape. I would fall somewhere in between, but can say with some confidence I am closer to the in shape crowd than the out of shape. We are only in week two, but the PT time is something I thoroughly enjoy.

However, today's workout kicked my tail. It was a mere 20 minutes, but I would bet the farm while going through it, the time was more like 45 minutes. We broke into 4 teams, so not to get too crowded. It was reminicent of the ladder runs in highschool, only much worse. We started out by jogging/running about 40 yards, touching a curb, and jogging back. We then did 2 pushups, 2 crunches, 2 mountain climbers, and 2 body weight squats. The the cycle starts again; run to the curb and back. However, this time, you do 4 of each exercise. Then the next time 6 repititions. Put this all in the context of an evening where the temperature was just above freezing, the air is dry, and let us not forget about altitude. In a mere 20 minutes, I was at 24 repetitions and fully spent. We ended our workout by sounding off, and heading home.

Now, I carpool with a fine gentleman, Ramon Sandoval. Ramon just happens to be a former member of Seal Team 1, from about 3 years ago. Ramon is in good shape. Ramon is in kick butt shape. We went over to his house were we proceeded to do exercises I had no idea existed. We climbed ropes, did pull ups between ropes, dips on hanging rings, and pushups on the rings lowered to about 6 inches off the ground. Other exercises were mixed in there, but far to difficult to describe. Ramon has taken me under his wing, to make me into a well built warrior. I am aching all over, and this early in the workout scheme of things, there isn't any noticeable improvement. So for this guy, the lactic acid has fully engulfed my body, and I am not sure of when it will decide to flush out.

Frustration

Remember going to school when you were younger and you learned to do math? You did flash cards, multiplication tables, class competitions, and tests without any calculators. But then in highschool, you began to use a calculator and consequently inversely lost your ability to do any math in your head.

Well something similar has happened to me. Since the age of computers was so prevelant in my formative years, I learned to type, and in highschool and college, type a lot of BS. But in elementary school, I had to hand write many things to develop my skills, and my spelling as well. Now after using computer typing aids so frequently, I have lost my ability to just sit down and write on paper.

To test our writing abilities during the academy we are required to write (HAND WRITTEN) a 2 page paper on some specific topic. They are looking for our spelling skills, and thus we can't type it out first, use that handy spell check, and then hand write it. Nope, honesty is important and critical to keep a job in Law Enforcement. There are also stupid rules like, between each paragraph you need to put in a space. Well, I am about done with this paper and when I was reviewing it, I didn't put in any spaces. So, I get to WRITE the stupid thing all over again. Fun.....

A week down, 19 to go

Well, this morning starts the last day of my first week at the Jefferson County Academy. We have 34 recruits in our class, but only 14 of us are with Jefferson County. Our academy is representing 10 different agencies, and I can't be more proud that I am part of this class.

The standards by which we hold ourselves is awesome. The academy is paramilitary so there is a lot of shouting, "yes sir's", "no sir's", "attentions", and "stand clears," in a single day. To the average person, this academy would be no fun, but that is why the average person doesn't get accepted into this academy. We all met rigorous standards and are being called higher each day. Working with individals united with a cause, purpose and drive, causes the atmosphere to be filled with encouragement, honor, and integrity.

This morning, one of my closer friends in the academy is coming to pick me up. Ramon Sandavol is a buddy, but he definitely isn't intimidated by this academy's standards. As a former member of Seal Team 1, he has endurance up the wazoo. He's a great guy and I enjoy each moment learning from his experience.

This is definitely what I was looking for in an academy. I am so thankful that I was chosen to experience it.